Luke Thomas Bailey

This memorial website was created in the memory of my baby angel, Luke Thomas Bailey who was born on Thursday March 1st 2007 and passed away on Friday March 2nd 2007 . I will remember him forever. He will always be a part of my life and family.

Mommys pregnancy was hard from beginning to end - morning sickness, a downes scare and a cystic fibrosis scare - but it was worth it, if you were going to be ok at the end. On a scan at 24 weeks it was picked up there was something wrong with the placenta, and you were not getting what you needed. They estimated you were only 310g and if delivered then, had no chance of survival. Our only chance was to wait another two weeks and go back for another scan, hoping you had grown and that the placenta carried on working.

At our 26 week scan, you had grown to 384g - still had no chance out of the womb. Again our only chance was to plough on. These weeks were hard, the not knowing if you were alive.

We went for the 28 week scan on February 27th and finally got some good news - you had grown to approx 534g. You had a chance at last. The hospital monitored your heartrate and you were comfortable. Mommy and Daddy allowed themselves to hope.

Then on Thursday 1st March, you began to show signs of distress. I was rushed to New Cross Hospital. You were born by emergency section at 2.41pm - weighing in at only 1lb 1oz. The next few hours were crucial.

When mommy and daddy came to see you that night, we were shocked at how tiny you were, but loved you instantly. You and the doctors battled through the night. You took a turn for the worse, but still pulled through. Doctors called Daddy and Nanny Shellie out in the middle of the night, but by the time they got to the hospital, you had stabilised.

We were called to neo-natal the next morning. You were critical. You had severe asphyxia, bleeding on the brain, two heart episodes and problems with your blood gases. You had already had 4 blood transfusions. Doctors did not know which way you would go. Still you fought.

That afternoon, Grandma and Grandad and Grandad Pete and Jane came to see you. They didnt say anything, but I know how shocked they were when they saw you. How tiny you were and how much fighting you were doing. It was a long and very hard day.

At 6pm that evening, we were called back to neo-natal. You had had another bleed on the brain - this time more critical. It would affect all your movement - you would have no quality of life. After holding you, loving you, having you baptised and having some photos taken with you - we made the heart-breaking decision to turn off your ventilators. You passed away in mommys arms, with your family around you. At peace at last and free of pain.

Luke you know we love you my darling and we would have done anything to take your pain.

We hope you are at peace now our darling boy, you made us so proud.

My heart is broken since you left me and I cry for you everyday but my love will never die for you my angel, it will grow with every day that comes until one day we will be reunited.

Goodnight my darling, I will love you always and forever

You will always be in my heart son, Love from Mommy xxxx

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PLEASE, don't ask me if I'm over it yet.
I'll never be over it.
PLEASE, don't tell me he's in a better place.
he isn't here with me.
PLEASE, don't say at least he isn't suffering.
I haven't come to terms with why he had to suffer at all.
PLEASE, don't tell me you know how I feel,
unless you have lost a child.
PLEASE, don't ask me if I feel better.
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up.
PLEASE, don't tell me at least you had him for a little while.
When would you choose for your child to die?
PLEASE, don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear.
PLEASE, just say you're sorry.
PLEASE, just say you remember my child, if you do.
PLEASE, just let me talk about my child.
PLEASE, mention my child's name.
PLEASE, just let me cry.

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A Child that loses a parent is an orphan,
A Man who loses his wife is a widower,
A Woman who loses her husband is a widow,
However, there is no name for a parent that loses a child,
For there is no word to describe such pain.

*****************

THEY SAY THERE IS A REASON,THEY SAY THAT TIME WILL HEAL,
BUT NEITHER TIME NOR REASON,WILL CHANGE THE WAY WE FEEL,
FOR NO ONE KNOWS THE HEARTACHE THAT LIES BENEATH OUR SMILES,
NO ONE KNOWS THE MANY TIMES WEVE BROKEN DOWN AND CRIED,
WE WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING,SO THERE WILL BE NO DOUBT,
YOURE SO WONDERFUL TO THINK ABOUT,BUT SO HARD TOO LIVE WITHOUT

******************

Precious,tiny,sweet one,you will always be to me
So perfect,pure and innocent, just as you were meant to be.
We dreamed of you and your life
And all that would be
We waited and longed for you to come and join our family.
We never had the chance to play, to laugh, to rock, to wiggle
We long to hold you, touch you now and listen to you giggle
I'll always be your mother
He'll always be your dad
You will always be our child
The child that we had
But now you're gone.....but yet you're here
We'll sense you everywhere.
You are our sorrow and our joy
There's love in every tear.
Just know our love goes deep and strong
We'll forget you never-the child we had, but never had,
And yet will have forever

********************


In a baby castle, just beyond my eye,
My baby plays with angel toys, that money cannot buy
Who am i to wish him back to this our world of strife
No, play on my baby you have eternal life

At night when all is silent, and sleep forsakes my eyes
I'll hear his tiny footsteps, come rushing to my side
His little hands caress me, so tenderly and sweet
I'll breath a prayer and embrace him in my sleep

Now i have a treasure, that i rate above all others
I have known true glory, i am still his MOTHER XX

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My Mom is a Survivor
My mom is a survivor,
or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying
when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night.
and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her
to help her understand.
But like the sands upon a beach
that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mom
who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others,
a smile of disguise.
But through Heaven's open door,
I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with my death,
to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her
knows it's her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom
through Heaven's open door...
I try to tell her that
Angel protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn't help her,
or ease the burdens she bears.
So if you get a chance, call to her
And show her that you care.
For no matter what she feels,
my surviving mom has a broken heart
that time won't ever heal.